Kindergarden
by Yorozuya Gin-san
Summary: Lady, you're fat, Kirihara announced to his teacher. At such a young age, any teacher is going to want to throw him out the window. CRACK...not really.


Ok, since I haven't been updating in a crap load of whiles, I'll make it up to you for a while with this crappy story. XD

Based off of…uhh…I dunno…My brain. 

* * *

"You're having a WHAT?!" Kirihara screamed at his 28 years old (turning 29, Kirihara kept reminding her) sister. "WHAT?!"

"Akaya, stop screaming at her," His mother scolded lightly as she grabbed a chair by table and sat down.

Kirihara snatched a bowl of random snacks on the table that his sister had brought over, ripped apart the wrapping (rather roughly), and chewed on the food loudly. "I KNOWF…BUTH 'THEE'S HAFFING A FHAT?!" He yelled, spitting random pieces of food out at whomever was unlucky enough to be near them.

"Aka-chan…" His sister brushed away the snack crumbs calmly. "You knew this was going to happen…" 

The curly haired boy swallowed. "But…But…" Kirihara frantically thought of an excuse. "You're gonna get fat." He grinned in accomplishment.

"Ah! I just remembered!" His mother cried. 

"What? That nee-chan's been fat?" Kirihara asked, getting a kick from his sister. 

"No…I remembered about your kindergarden days…" She replied. "I remembered that the teacher was pregnant? And she ended up yelling at us for allowing Akaya to make fun of her…"

Kirihara made a face. "You mean that old hag?" He asked, taking another snack.

"She's not that old…she's turning 30-something this year…" His sister trailed off. 

"I don't remember that…" The Rikkai regular said, again spitting out random pieces of food at (sadly) his sister. She sighed and said, "Close your mouth when you eat and don't talk when you eat. THANK YOU."

Kirihara shrugged, swallowed, then continued while brushing some crumbs to his sister's side of the table just to annoy her. "I know she was an old hag, I just don't remember calling her fat…I mean, if I did something as sweet as that, I wouldn't have just forgotten it…" 

His mother sighed, "I guess we got to tell you the story again…How many times did we tell you?"

"Six, mother."

"Ah…six."

Kirihara looked blankly at the two women. "Six?"

"Yes, six. The number after five. Come on Aka-chan, what's after six?" She teased.

"Shut up." He snapped at his sister. 

* * *

"Ok class, today, I have something special to tell you!" Miss Yukie announced cheerfully, making the 5 year old sit together in a circle. 

"Sensei!! That boy just threw dirt at my head!!" A girl whined. "I wanna sit next to Hana-chan!!"

Miss Yukie sighed. "Fine…go sit by Hana-chan."

"YAY!!" The girl ran joyfully to the so-called "Hana."

"Now, Akaya-kun…please don't throw dirt at girls. That is not nice!" Miss Yukie scolded a miniature version of Kirihara, making him stick his tongue out at her. "Now be nice until I announce everything!"

"Fine, lady…" Mini-Kirihara grumbled, crossing his arms and pouting childishly.

"Ok! I'd love to say…"

Kirihara suddenly hopped up from his assigned seat. "Lady, you farted!!" He pointed an accusing finger at Miss Yukie. 

"Stop it, Akaya-kun!! Or I'll tell you mother!" She replied, getting mad. 

The curly haired boy grumbled and sat back down at his seat.

"I'd love to say that I'm pregnant with a child!! I found out she's a girl…And I'd probably not be here if I got into labor…" And she trailed off with her vacation—er…baby talk.

Kirihara walked up to her. "Lady…you're _fat_…and ugly to boot." He kicked her shin and grinned evilly. 

Miss Yukie popped a vein (probably) and said, "Akaya-kun…PLEASE come with me." She said as calm as she could.

"Are you gonna show me how babies are made _personally_?" Kirihara asked eagerly. 

"NO! I WOULDN'T EVEN LET YOU NEAR MY BABY!!" She screamed. 

"Geez…mood swings, much?" Kirihara muttered, stomping after the teacher.

* * *

"When did _that_ ever happen?!" Kirihara demanded, smashing his cracker on the table and making cracker pieces fly. 

"AKAYA!! STOP KILLING THE CRACKERS (AND THE NEW TABLE!)" His mother screamed at him. 

"Geez lady…mood swings much? You're pregnant too?"

* * *

**Bonus Story!**

Miss Yukie's first child:

"Congrats, miss! You have a girl!" Announced the doctor. 

"Ahh…I'll name her Akari!" She exclaimed. "I hope she doesn't have to be a teacher when she grows up!"

"Whatever."


End file.
